Changes

Just some pieces I was playing with this afternoon that I thought I would share.

– Scorpio Rising

Revelations

For the last couple of years I have had a strong (ever growing) interest in astrology.  First I looked at sun signs (or star signs as they are more commonly known) and soon discovered the natal chart which reveals so, so much more.  I was truly fascinated.  For all you skeptics out there, I would totally recommend looking at your own natal chart.  There are heaps of websites that can do this for you, all you need to know is where and when you were born to the hour or there about.  We all display our sun signs but can often become skeptical upon meeting another Aries and discovering the two of you are nothing alike.  It’s easy to say, “Star signs are crap, I’m nothing like you, blah blah they’re such bullshit”.  But this, my friend, is where natal charts (especially your ascendant or rising sign) come into play.  So you may be an Aries with Pisces rising and find other Aries nothing like you.  They may seem self centered and somewhat rude or dismissive.  You may feel they are rather shallow and lack the spirituality that you possess.  This is because having a Pisces ascendant will automatically soften you and bless you with the great gift of empathy.  No two Aries are the same.  Undoubtedly, you will posses similar attributes and nature, but your personal natal chart provides you with all your quirks and things that make you special and fun.

Personally, I found a lot of solace in discovering my natal chart.  Most importantly, my Scorpio ascendant.  Growing up I was quiet and private and it took me a long time to open up and feel comfortable with people.  I am still like this.  When I was younger I saw these things as somewhat negative.  Not entirely, but qualities like being shy are never really praised or admired.  They’re more things we’re taught to overcome or grow out of.  We don’t expect adults to be shy.  We expect them to be confident and competent.  Part of growing up is allegedly growing out of these childish traits.  But, as I am sure we have all learnt, this is not true.  So until very recently, I thought I needed to work on being more confident, friendly, open etc.  This is what friends told me.  I was told to try new things and that I would just adore ‘Insert-Something-I-Hate’ if I only gave it a go.  I felt like I should try these things.  That was what growing up and becoming a fully-formed person meant.  However, even when I tried new things, I discovered I could never embrace them.  I just felt incredibly uncomfortable, unhappy and frequently bored.

For me, new experiences (especially those I have zero interest in attempting) are not rewarding.  They do not help me grow or become more confident.  The truth Is that I am quite content with who I am and my level of confidence.  I am fully aware of who I am, my strengths and weaknesses, how I approach situations and so on.  The problem was (and I use past tense deliberately, as I have thankfully overcome this) that I used to listen to people and think their way was the right way and that my way was wrong.  Because in certain people’s eyes, being confident is public speaking or addressing strangers.  Being confident is dancing in public and not being afraid to ask questions.  Trying new things.  But for me, confidence does not mean these things.  I don’t know what I consider confidence, but I do know that trying to do the above mentioned things does not make me more confident than I already am.  Arguably, it makes me feel less confident.  I suppose for me, confidence is knowing who you are and standing for what you believe in.  Confidence is the ability to accept and love yourself, despite friends or family telling you what’s allegedly wrong with you solely because this differs to themselves.

I breathed a sigh of relief upon reading about my Scorpio ascendant.  It explained why I am who I am.  Why I – yes, even as an adult – am reserved and private.  But also why I am extremely perceptive.  Why I like black and love my long, dark hair.  Why I don’t need or want to be the centre of attention.  Why I am attractive to the opposite sex (that’s a good one).  And for some reason, seeing this written down made me recognise these traits as legitimate (not to mention permanent) parts of me.  It explained why I don’t enjoy or respond well to things some of my friends enjoy.  It gave me such an acceptance for who I am.

What a truly beautiful gift I had been given.

What I am trying to get at here is that astrology is so fascinating and helpful to our lives and we should all look into it.  I think it’s hugely important to have an understanding of one’s self.  I not only gained more acceptance for who I am, but for others too.  Do your natal chart.  See what you find.  Come on, we all love reading about ourselves.  And you can disagree or agree, but at least it will get you thinking about who you are.  We need to do this more.  Because how can we even fathom to understand and accept others if we can’t understand our own selves.  Remember that everyone has an equally complex and fascinating chart.  So when someone responds to something in a way you find odd, respect that.  It’s their nature; the way they are programmed.  Just as you are programmed in your own special way.  They probably find your responses strange too.  But that’s the joy of life.

– Scorpio Rising